30 Stories in 30 Days #1 – “In the Name of Ideological Purity”

In the Name of Ideological Purity

“That’s an interesting bumper sticker you have there,” Ken told Nick one morning.

Nick shut his door and joined Ken standing behind his car.  He waved at his bumper sticker which read “Don’t vote, both parties suck” and said, “Yeah, when I saw that I just knew I had to buy it.”

The two began walking through the parking lot to their office building.  “Do you really think both parties suck?” Ken asked.

“Yeah.  It’s obvious.”

“They both have their problems,” Ken agreed, “but I think it’s obvious one is better than the other.”

Nick shrugged.  “If that were true, then why is the other one still around?” Stopping, he stated, “That’s the problem.  Everyone thinks their party is clearly better than the other, yet both parties remain alive and kicking each other.”

Ken had stopped as well.  With a chuckle he asked, “You don’t think everything would be better with just one party?”

“No.” Nick resumed walking and continued, “I just think it would be better if the parties put the country first.  There are – I feel – clear, logical solutions to the problem this country faces, but they will never be used because it would require both parties to admit that they alone aren’t the way to greatness.”

Ken held the door open for Nick and asked, “For example?”

“Illegal immigration.  As far as I can see, there is a solution to the problem, but neither party will go for it.”

“What’s the solution?”

“First step, secure the border.  I don’t care if it’s with a fence, a border guard every ten feet, or a minefield.  Securing the border is a smart thing to do because it stops people getting into the country illegally.  Be they some guy just looking for a job, drug smugglers, or the occasional terrorist.”

“There are people who want to secure the border,” Ken stated

“True, but those people don’t care for Step Two.”

They had reached the elevators and as Ken hit the up button he said, “Which is?”

The elevator opened and the two stepped inside.  Nick explained, “Step One took care of people coming into the country.  Step Two deals with those already here.  Now, the people screaming to secure the border are usually the same who scream we need to deport all those here illegally.  But there’s something like fifteen million illegals in the country.  Deporting all of them is impossible.”

They reached their floor and stepped out.  As they walked to their cubicles Nick added, “I almost wish I knew one of those uber-conservatives who wants to deport everyone so I can ask, ‘So, you want the Obama Administration to set up a national police taskforce whose sole purpose is to go around the country, rounding up people’ just to see their reaction.  Because if Bush had done it they would have thought it was the best thing in the world, but if Obama does it they’ll think it’s his evil communist, Muslim plan to take over the country.”

Shaking his head, Nick continued, “Anyway, the only way to deal with all those people is some form of amnesty.  The best way I can figure to do it is to set aside six months or a year and let people come forward.  They can register, pay a fine, and if they stay out of trouble for, say, five years, they can be citizens.  With one condition.  They are in the country illegally, and they should be punished for that.  The fine will be more for paying the administration costs of setting this whole thing up, but to punish them for being in the country illegally, I’d say they shouldn’t be allowed to vote for, say, ten years.  Unless they’re minors, then when they turn eighteen they can register to vote like everyone else.  But after the six months or a year, the program shuts down, and if you’re caught in the country illegally, you’re deported.  Simple as that.”

Ken snorted.  “Simple.”

“Can you think of a better way to solve the problem?”

They had reached their cubicles and Ken thought for a moment, then shook his head.

Taking his coat off and putting it on the back of his chair, Nick added, “That may be the best way to solve the problem, but it will never be done because neither party can endorse it.  The parties don’t do what’s best for America, they just do what will keep their bases happy.  And what’s best for America has nothing to do with any ideological purity.  Hell, Al-Qaeda wishes they could case as much damage to America as the parties have caused fighting over ideological purity.”

Ken stood for a moment then nodded.  “Well, if I had known you felt so strongly about all this-”

“You never would have asked,” Nick said.

“Pretty much.” Ken laughed.  “You can always hope everything changes with the next election.”

With a forced smile, Nick told him, “Don’t make me hurt you.”