Archive for the humor Category

The All-You-Can-Read Buffet

Posted in Books, eBooks, humor, Stories with tags , , , , , on February 3, 2015 by oneoveralpha

Buffet

The All-You-Can-Read Buffet is a collection of forty stories covering various genres and themes ranging from six to over 4,200 words in length. They also cover a wide time range. Some of these stories I began writing a decade ago, while others were written especially for this collection. All together, they are a buffet of my writing. As such, I encourage you to read as much as you want. Go back for seconds, thirds, fourths even. I won’t even mind if you skip over the stuff you don’t like, but, to quote your mother, “How do you know you don’t like it? Have you tried it?”

Here is a taste of what you’ll find within.

“Dark Anniversary”

With a dozen roses in hand, the man dressed all in black walked towards the tombstone. The lettering had already begun to fade, but the words were drilled into his brain: Edith Robyn Sommers, April 4, 1956 – June 14, 1975.

After a few moments of reflection, the man knelt and set the roses on her grave.

“You are so maudlin, Eric,” a voice said from the darkness.

Without turning, Eric said, “You never forget your first, Robert.”

Robert stepped from the shadows. “My first was just some peasant.”

“And after all these centuries you still remember that.”

Robert stood for a few seconds, then turned and disappeared.

Eric chuckled, then stood. He nodded to the tombstone and said, “Until next year, Edith.” He then spread his wings and flew into the night.

***

If you are at all curious, then check out the page for The All-You-Can-Read Buffet on my website to find out where you can find it.

Download Political Pies for free!

Posted in eBooks, Give away, humor, Stories, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 1, 2014 by oneoveralpha

What’s scarier than all the ghosts and goblins at your door? There’s an election next week.

To try to blunt the horror of the season, I’m offering my anthology of forty, short, political stories Political Pies for free! You’ll be able to download it to your Kindle now through Wednesday November 5. Download it early, and you can read it while waiting in line to vote on Tuesday.

If “free” isn’t enough to entice you, check out the cover and blurb:

NewPieSmall2

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? Stephen L. Thompson’s attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of his short stories with a political element into his Political Pies anthology. His stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, his goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

So what are you waiting for? Download your copy now, you won’t get another chance until next year.

Check out QuarterReads

Posted in humor, Stories, Writing with tags , , , on October 17, 2014 by oneoveralpha

QuarterReads describes itself as “A short read at a fair price.” Basically, you read short stories or poems for a quarter. What’s really interesting is what happens for writers. Of that $0.25 you spend on a story, the author of said story receives $0.22. Having things the other way around where the author only gets $0.03 is more common. But that’s not all. If you enjoy the story, you can tip the author an additional, $0.25, $0.50, or $0.75, and all of the tips go to the author.

As someone who usually writes short stories, you can understand why I’m excited by something like QuarterReads. But for the site to really take off, requires readers. So I encourage you to check it out and hopefully find some stories you like. If you’re curious about my stories, you can check out my author profile.  Right now, I have two stories up but I’m hoping to add at least one a month.

A Cabin Under a Cloudy Sea and other stories

Posted in eBooks, humor, Stories, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2014 by oneoveralpha

Cloudy

A couple of years ago, I came up with the idea of putting out minianthologies – collections of five to ten stories – on Kindle as a way to use up some of my stories and to let people know I exist.  Well, I have just put out my latest minianthology – “A Cabin Under a Cloudy Sea and other stories.” It contains five stories set upon the moon.  The blurb I have for it is as follows:

Hopefully, in the not too distant future humans will return to the moon. We will build bases and colonies, create farms and factories, and live, love and learn. “A Cabin Under a Cloudy Sea and other stories” contains five short stories set upon the moon. They give the tiniest glimpse of the possibilities awaiting us there. 

 I hope you’ll check it out, and if it strikes your fancy you can download it for only $0.99.  I hope you’ll enjoy.

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The story behind this minianthology is somewhat long.  Part of the idea behind my minianthologies is to show people a sampling of my writing, but I also like to group similar stories.  When I realized I had several stories set on the moon, it was natural to put them together.  A couple of these were published before – I’ve revised them for this – but I also wanted a couple new stories.  I had one story that involved time travel, and I haven’t figured out how to make it work.  So I would start working on this collection, only to get stuck on this story, set it aside to let my creative juices flow, only to then get caught up in some other project.  It was probably almost two years ago that I started this project, but I didn’t really get anywhere with it until about four months ago.

About four months ago was when I learned my story “The Reluctant Host” would appear in Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Dog Did What? which would be published now.  (See my previous blog post.)  You know what would be good, I thought?  If I had a Kindle book come out at the same time to get some of that chicken soup splashover

Of my dozen or so projects, “A Cabin Under a Cloudy Sea and other stories” was the closest to being finished, so I set out to finish it.  One problem was this time travel story I couldn’t make work.  Fortunately, I had recently come up with a new story idea also set upon the moon, “Putting Down Roots.” Since I could finish that story, and since the other stories in the collection were more grounded scifi (no warp drive or aliens) the time travel story kind of stood out.  So I swapped the stories and set to work finishing it.

I was making steady progress, when in early July I smacked my forehead because I had missed something.  July 20 marked the 45th anniversary of Apollo 11 landing on the moon.  What better time to put out a collection of stories set on the moon?  I debated for a bit if I should change my publication plans, but I couldn’t finish it in time.

As it turns out, this later publication date may actually be better.  One thing am really passionate about is setting up a permanent human presence in space, such as at a moon base.  If I had published this a month ago, it probably would have been lost in all the hoopla for Apollo 11, which I believe all faded into obscurity on July 21st.  But with this ebook coming out a month later, it can help advance my goal of moon bases in my lifetime by showing people the moon isn’t just something to get excited about on big anniversaries. 

At least, that’s what I tell myself to keep from smashing my forehead for missing such an obvious connection.

The Dog Did What?

Posted in Books, humor, Stories, Writing on August 19, 2014 by oneoveralpha

pageToday’s the day.  Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Dog Did What? is out today.  As you can see by the picture above, you can find my story “The Reluctant Host” on page 293.  And while it would be nice if you read mine first, I won’t mind if you take your time and read all 101.

I hope you’ll check it out, and I hope you enjoy.

I got a box of books yesterday

Posted in Books, humor, Stories, Writing with tags , , , on July 22, 2014 by oneoveralpha

boxbooks

So why did I receive ten copies of Chicken Soup for the Soul: The Dog Did What? (which will go on sale next month)?

page

A Man of Few Words for only $0.99!

Posted in eBooks, humor, Stories, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 1, 2014 by oneoveralpha

FewWords

A Man of Few Words was my first anthology I self-published four years ago.  Here is the blurb for it:

A Man of Few Words is a collection of 50 flash fiction stories by Stephen L. Thompson. How does a teenager work up the courage to call a girl? What would happen if a “T-Rex on steroids” attacked a city? Why do science fiction writers make the best lovers? How does a company get to Second Base with VIPs? These questions and more are explored by Stephen using less than 1000 words and in various genres from humor to horror and general fiction to science fiction.

The majority of the stories have been previously published (most by Stephen himself on his website) but all have been revised for this collection. In addition, each piece is accompanied by some background information giving a fuller story experience.

It’s available in paperback, but also for Kindle.  And it’s because of Kindle that I’m posting this blog.  Last year, Amazon made a change to their promotions.  Before the only promotions were to have your ebook for free for a few days.  But the change allowed you to have discount sales.  For example, the Kindle version of A Man of Few Words is normally $2.99, but I could now have a discount sale for $0.99.  This will be the first time I’m trying this discount to see how it works.  Unless I screwed something up, you should be able to get the Kindle version of A Man of Few Words for $0.99 starting early on the morning of May 2, 2014.  It will stay at that price for about a day and a half, and then go up to $1.99.  After another day and a half, it will return to it’s normal price of $2.99 in the wee hours of May 5.  (They do have set start times, but they’re not always on time.)

So, take a look at my ebook, and if it looks interesting pick it up in the next few days and save a dollar or two.

 

Ebook sale!

Posted in eBooks, Give away, humor, Stories, Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 23, 2013 by oneoveralpha

CoverBanner

On December 25th and 26th, ten of my ebooks will be FREE to download to the Kindles that Santa brought you.  Together, they contain 144 short stories and 10 essays that can all be yours for the price of a click.  To learn more about each one, check out my Amazon Author Page.

Happy Holidays.

30 Stories in 30 Days #13 – “Memories”

Posted in 30 Stories in 30 Days, humor, Stories with tags , , , on June 30, 2013 by oneoveralpha

MEMORIES

Taking a sip of her coffee, Laura said, “So, tell me something about yourself.”

Ed shrugged and took a sip of his coffee.  “What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know.” Laura looked around the coffee shop and saw a flier for a “Christmas in July” sale from some local business.  “What was the most memorable thing you ever got for Christmas as a kid?”

Ed looked at her for a few seconds, then began laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“The most memorable thing I ever got was a severed foot.  In my stocking.”

Laura took another sip of coffee before slowly saying, “Okay.”

“My dad is a big practical joker.  When I was eight, I woke up Christmas morning and went downstairs.  The rule was us kids could go through our stockings, but we weren’t allowed to touch our presents or wake our parents.  My brother and sister had stockings full of candy and little toys, but mine seemed rather empty.  I dumped it out to find a plastic severed foot; a leftover from Halloween.  It was maybe half-an-hour later that my dad got up.  I met him at the bottom of the stairs and showed him the foot.  He just said I must have been really bad for Santa to leave a severed foot in my stocking.  He then laughed and went and got me one of my presents, which was a box with all the stuff that would have been in my stocking.”

With a smile, Laura asked, “Was your several foot the best toy you ever got?”

“Not really.  I forgot about it until my older brother Tom – who’s as big a joker as my dad – tied a string around it and hung on the tree as a decoration.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.  Mom wasn’t too happy, but between dad and Tom I think she knew fighting it would be a lost cause.  For years afterward it was one of our tree decorations.  I think it was the first year that Joan – Tom’s now wife – spent with us that it didn’t make it up.  But it’s probably still in one of the decorations boxes up in the attic.”

“Sounds like you have an interesting family.”

“That’s a nicer way to put it.  I usually just say my family’s nuts.”

Laura had just taken a sip of coffee and almost had it come out of her nose.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.  You just caught me off guard.”

Ed smiled.  “So, what was the most memorable gift you got as a kid?”

Laura thought for a moment.  “I don’t know.  I don’t think Barbies compare to a severed foot.”

30 Stories in 30 Days #08 – “A Not so Different Future”

Posted in 30 Stories in 30 Days, humor, Stories with tags , , , , , , , on June 12, 2013 by oneoveralpha

A NOT SO DIFFERENT FUTURE

Opening the control panel, Melanie exclaimed, “What a mess.” She put her hand on her husband John’s shoulder and said, “Just sit right there.”

John – watching robotic gladiators pummeling each other – replied with a grunt.

A few minutes later, Melanie returned with a can of compressed air and a duster.  She gave a quick spurt from the can and a small cloud of dust filled the air.  “Oh my.” With each successive spurt, the clouds became smaller, until the dust was gone.

She set the can down and with the duster brushed away what dust had fallen on John’s shoulders.  She closed the control panel in his skull and said, “You know, if you used your brain more often, it wouldn’t get so dusty.”

John grunted in reply.

“Is that all you can do?  Grunt?”

John turned his head to her and shrugged.  He then went back to watching the gladiators.

Shaking her head, Melanie said, “I don’t know why I even bother.”

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