Number One Reason I Dislike My Job

It really screws up my day.

I’m mostly nocturnal. I say mostly because I have a saying about “stay awake until you’re tired, then sleep until you wake up.” I’m not a “free spirit” but I do have a wide independence streak that doesn’t like to be chained to a 24 hour cycle. The idea of “You HAVE to be HERE at this time, EVERYDAY” does not appeal to me.

Now, the reason I’m bringing this up in my writing blog, is because I feel this “Gainful Employment Dragon” gets in my way of writing. For example, I have not slept that well for the past few nights. I was tired at work and considered going to bed extra early in the futile attempt to “make up” for the lost sleep. I say futile, because countless times before I’ve gotten little sleep, been exhausted at work, but then have waken up in the evening to be wide awake at midnight. Tonight about 10:30 I told myself I should just take a shower and go to bed. I turned off my computer, and then sat there for a few minutes feeling miserable. There were so many things I wanted to do. Work on the formatting of my book, type up some blogs, read a bit, go for a relaxing walk, work on some stories, etc. I’m getting really tired of this “Damned if I do/damned if I don’t” choice: do I stay up writing only to be exhausted at work tomorrow, or do I go to bed and then beat myself up because I didn’t get as much writing work done as I wanted to?

Before you say I should do my writing earlier in the day, well I do get some done earlier in the day (even at work), but I get a rush of energy and odd ideas in the late evening, part of the reason I have trouble going to bed early. As I type this it’s 12:10 AM and I’m wide awake and the only problem I’m having is that I want to take this in six different directions. It’s now 12:13 AM, and after deleting the last sentence I wrote, I’ve decided to keep this simple and just end it here. For now.

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